Update on Life =)

Wow, i haven't written about life in awhile, lol. don't want to bore people, but i like to keep my blog semi up to date!

well, the best news ever is that my sister had her baby!!! :D so i'm finally an aunt. his name is Shia Kylan Alexander Young and he is the most beautiful baby in the world!!! I am so proud of them all, they're such amazing parents already. I love that little guy sooo much! when i can't go visit them for a couple days, i always miss him =( lol. he's just so lovable. and he's such a good baby too! sighhh. he's basically perfect! lol

umm what else... i've been SUPER busy! i work between 40-60 hours a week. the money is amazing, but i am exhausted a lot. lol but its worth it for sure. and i'm not complaining considering i was unemployed for much of last summer, lol. and i do love money! haha and being busy, so it all works out.

despite being so busy at work, i still manage to spend lots of time with friends. i honestly think that this is the best summer of my entire life. i've spent lots of time outside, i go out a lot, i have people over, i get to see my sisters, my family and all my friends. it's just simply amazing. after the hell that was my last couple summers, i am very very pleased with the way summer 2010 has turned out :D

as far as my love life goes...well it's pretty nonexistent, lol. which is just fine with me! lol i talk to guys and stuff, but nothing serious and i love it. i have a couple of crushes, and a couple guys i like a little more seriously, so we'll see what happens. i'm not in any rush. i'm just enjoying my friends right now. sometimes i miss having a boyfriend, but it'll all work out! i do think i've been single for a little bit too long this time though, because i've been a bit reckless this summer :/ lol ohhh well! you only live once! and i've had a great time. no regrets, that's for sure.

i started my ritalin for my ADHD about a month ago and i love it! it's quite a noticeable difference. i've been told i don't talk as fast or as much, it's SO much easier for me to concentrate, i get up in the morning and get stuff done. it's amazing. i love it! i wish i would have gotten that years ago. who knows how much it could have helped me before.

i've also been so much more chill lately. the anxiety that had consumed my life for the past couple years is basically non-existent. i rarely get angry. i feel so much more understand towards people, and situations. it takes so much more to rattle me nowadays. which is nice because i was a basket case for the past few years. lol. having a more laid back approach to life is definitely the way to go. i deal with problems almost effortlessly. that doesn't mean that i don't get sad or upset or frustrated, because i do. but i don't fall apart. i can logically look at the situation and come to a conclusion about things. if someone upsets me, i can see so much better where they're coming from. even people that used to drive me nuts don't even bother me anymore. that's probably why my anxiety has gone away! lol things just don't stress me out too much anymore, so there's no need for that anxious nervous energy that i've had! it's honestly amazing. i can't even explain how good it feels to just be normal! lol =)

oh yeah, my dad is apparently in Alabama staying with his family. he's been threatening to go down there for awhile, but he actually is there now. he called me from his sisters phone, and i thought it was my aunt so i answered and it was him, lol. he says he lost his house and his van and didn't have anything in michigan anymore so he had to leave. he came to my house before he left and he left me a letter on my car. but didn't ring the doorbell so he could tell me goodbye. and i didn't know he was leaving for real (he's cried wolf about so many things so many times, i rarely believe him when he says anything anymore) so i was a little upset about that. but what can i do? he's an adult and i can't take care of him, nor do i have any desire to. he is quite selfish and always has been, and i feel bad for my family who live in alabama, because i know it will be hard for them to have him there. but karma has gotten a hold of him. i don't wish bad things on him, but you just can't treat people like the way he does and expect karma not to come back for you.

i feel badly for him actually. i honestly think he has some sort of mental disorder, maybe a personality disorder. i don't know. sometimes he's almost straight up delusional. and he's such a chronic liar. it's very odd. i've separated myself from him so much lately, that i almost view him completely from a psychology perspective, rather than as my father. it's a little sad, but he hasn't really been too much of a father to any of us anyways. i love him of course, but he doesn't really know how to be a good friend or family member. and i just can't exhaust myself anymore with him.

oh yeah, idk if i wrote about this yet or not, but i'm totally in the middle (nearing the end of? lol) a quarter life crisis. haha! what is a quarter life crisis you ask? well www.quarterlifecrisis.com (yes there is a website dedicated to this!) defines it as: "a period of anxiety, uncertainty and inner turmoil that often accompanies the transition to adulthood".

Yup...that's me. it's weird because i've been an "adult" for quite some time now. i've pretty much been living on my own for about 7 years now. i've had long term relationships, i lived with a serious boyfriend for a few years. i've held steady jobs, i pay bills, i own my vehicles, blah blah. buuut somehow a lot of things about being an "adult" scare me! lol lately it's been fear of committed relationships. which is odd because i've always loved being in relationships. maybe it's just because since i'm getting older, relationships are starting to equal potential marriage situation. and marriage scares me. a lot. lol i sayyy i want to get married and have kids, and i still think i kind of do eventually. but i am enjoying being independent and semi-carefree. i want to spend my weekends going on mini-adventures, not doing marraige-y things. lol. if i could find a guy that wants to go on adventures with me, i would be in HEAVEN! lol my counselor at school told me that marriage is not a death sentence. and just because some couples spend their weekends at the farmers market does not mean that my relationship has to be like that. that made me feel a lot better. clearly just because i was pretty domestic when i lived with my first ex (family dinners every friday night, cleaning and grocery shopping on sunday, etc) doesn't mean that every serious relationship i'm in has to be like that! so i think i'm nearing the end of my quarter life crisis! lol we shall see!!! =)

ummm i think that's pretty much it for now. this is way too long already, haha. this is why i shouldn't go 2 months without blogging, lol. i'm gonna try to update this like every couple days or so. love you friends! <3