i could hardly be around him without resisting the urge to take off his clothes
not because i necessarily wanted to have sex with him.
no, it wasn't about sex at all
it was research, science, that guided me. not lust
i just needed to take apart every piece of him.
i needed to disassemble him
piece by piece
and put him back together again
just so i could understand how he worked
i needed to see things that couldn't be seen with my eyes
and go places that casual polite conversation rarely takes you
i just needed to know
and the only way to know how something really works is by
complete breakdown and reconstruction.
there was just no other way to find out
just what made him tick
and to find out which parts were malfunctioning
study them
examine them
people lie but you can't disguise what's
on the inside
i needed to take him apart and rebuild him
to help him
try to fix him
reassemble him in different ways
though the end result is always the same the process is a
necessary one
i needed to know how it all worked