Life is crazy, but great! :)

So, I am in a really really good mood today :)

I'm not sure why, because there's a lot of crazy shit going on, and I work a ton this weekend and I'm exhausted! lol but overall, I'm extremely happy.

I am finally getting excited about graduation! even though I still have spring classes, I am pretty much done with school! It's been a loooong time coming and I'm ready! :D I can't wait for commencement! Ahhhhhhh! :) :) :)

Okay, and Im also happy-ish about something else, lol. One of my professors told me that she thinks I may have adult ADHD. Ummm wtf. I've worked with kids/adolescents for almost a decade. I've seen tons of kids that supposedly have ADHD. I think it's terribly over diagnosed and I kinda view it as an excuse for bad behavior. Idk. I know I shouldn't think that, especially as a psych major. But that's always been my view on it.

So anyways, my prof tells me about conseling services at school at whatnot. So I look up counseling services online and there's this link to a page about different disorders. I read a bit about adult ADHD. O.M.G. I literally have every single symptom. Every. Single. One. I was floored. On one hand I was thinking that everyone could be diagnosed with ADHD cuz the symptoms just seem like common personality traits and common problems a lot of ppl have. But on the other hand, I realized I've been struggling with the same things over and over again. This is what some symptoms are:
Chronic lateness and forgetfulness.
Anxiety.
Low self-esteem.
Difficulty controlling anger.
Impulsiveness.
Substance abuse or addiction.
Poor organization skills.
Procrastination.
Low frustration tolerance.
Difficulty concentrating when reading.
Mood swings.
Depression.
Relationship problems.

Okay, doesn't it seem like tons and tons of people have these problems? I know there are ppl that aren't like this too. But I just can't come to terms with the fact that this is a disorder. Ugh. But if I do have this, I could reeeeally use some help dealing with it. I obviously am doing a shitty job of dealing with it on my own. I literally feel like I can't control these problems. Then I feel bad, because I am very aware of my problems and what I'm doing wrong, sometimes as i'm doing it, and I can feel myself wanting to shout at me, "STOP" lol but i can't! I can feel myself overreact and I can't stop it. Sometimes I wear a rubberband on my wrist and I'll snap it when I feel myself getting upset about something, but even that doesn't help me snap out of it. I feel like I'm watching myself be stupid and I'm powerless to stop it once it's in place. Also, I can't make myself want to study when I have a huge test. Or I go to the library to study and I get distracted by everything. I know everyone does. But usually ppl end up actually eventually getting something done. But I don't. Thank goodness I don't struggle with concepts in school, otherwise I wouldn't be graduating. If I wasn't smart, I would have flunked out of school.

So idk how I feel about this. I'm really hoping it ends up helping me, but I'm so skeptical. Well, it isn't going to hurt I guess! After talking to me for a half an hour and reviewing the results of this survey thing I had to do, the counselor at school asked me if I've ever been tested for ADHD too. lol sooo apparently it's obvious. I'm gonna get screened for it in the next couple weeks. She kept reassuring me that it's a real disorder and stuff, lol. So we'll see!

Ahh I talked for a really long time about that! lol oops!

ummm in other news, last night at churchills was a blaaast!!! buuut I'm gonna take a break from excessive drinking for awhile. I got wayyy too drunk last night. I haven't been that drunk in a long time. I was stupid emotional girl. Yuck. No one likes that girl! lol and I was also texting a few guys that I shouldn't have been...oops :/ stupid alcohol. ohh well. No more of that for awhile!

Hmmm... I think that's mostly everything! Idk how I'm in such a good mood. lol I think the weather contributes. And knowing that i can get help for some of my problems makes me happy. Also, I'm starting to get my grades for the semester back and so far so good! so that's good too! :)

Oh! One more thing. I'm reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I read it yearssss ago, but reading it now is completely different. I <3 it. It's so funny to read it and apply it to my life and past relationships. Ohh man. I swear the guy that wrote this book has stalked me and wrote a book about my life, haha. But it's def a good read and anyone that every plans to interact with the opposite sex at any point in their life should probably read it. Even though I don't plan to be in a relationship for some time, and I don't think I really have any romantic prospects at this point, it's still great to be reading this book! it makes me happy and hopeful! :D

Soooo yeah, life is crazy but good! <3


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