It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Hmmm...

this is going to be short because at this point i'm just thinking to myself. i'll elaborate later.

long story short. things are wonderful in my life. i graduated on sunday. i have amazing family and friends. the weather has been nice, i love both of my jobs, and i start an amazing third job soon. i'll be making tons of money, i'm moving into a sweet apartment. i have fun every night. every single thing is amazing.

exceptttt for things with the guy i was recently seeing. ugh. boy can i pick em or what. idk what to do. i don't even know what to write. we had a "talk" yesterday and i think things are worse. i do have to say that i am very proud of myself. if what happened last night with this guy would have happened with my ex, i would have been super mean and angry with him. and although i was hurt last night, i didn't lash out. i didn't even get angry. does this mean i'm growing up? lol maybe. maybe i just like this newer guy more than i thought. idk. i'm very confused. i dont know what he wants. i don't know what i'm expected to do. he's sending pretty mixed signals (read:extremely! mixed signals) and now i'm thoroughly confused.

sooo...that's the only thing right now that is less than perfect. i just want a relationship that works out, lol. it seems like i always find guys that are like, "i like you but..." lol damn. it gets old after awhile. i just want someone that just likes me. i have feelings too, and even though i try to put them aside so i can be there for whoever i'm dating, it doesn't always work. blah. so i'm a little upset, but not angry, surprisingly. lol yay me for not overreacting and getting pissy. even though honestly, after last night i think i would have had every right to. lol which makes it all the more impressive that i didnt.

ok...i'm going to work for the next several hours and i'm going to sit outside and ponder things :) lol i will blog more this week after i sort some things out.