I've been reflecting on a lot lately. It's been exactly a year since I practically ran away from Flint to go to DC. And I'm totally in that mindset again. I just want to get out of here. I need a change of scenery. I need to be around some different people. I'm so over greek life. I'm glad I graduated. i just don't want to be around any of that anymore. blah. ohh well.
I'm also over my last "relationship." I barely knew him so there isn't much to miss. I think i was so upset when it ended because i thought it could have turned into something, but that was kind of a dumb thought. I guess I feel like he isn't the way I thought he was. the guy that i was falling for in the first couple weeks when I was in Florida and shortly after wasn't the guy that I hung out with this past month and a half or so. idk what to think. im not even sad anymore. I'm just over it. i wish i could go back and never have gone to that party right before spring break. i was in a bad place, right out of a bad relationship. I definitely didn't need another heartbreak right away. I thought it was good for me, but looking back, I could have just done without it. I didn't need to develop feelings for someone else and have this happen again so soon. not worth it. It's hard tho cuz I wanna be there for him if he needs me, but i'm not gonna keep exes around anymore. so I'm done with that and not looking back.
it's okay now though. i definitely got to a place where I'm okay with it. I am excited about finding someone for real, lol. I'm done with casual dating. I'm done with school now, my life is calming down. I'm ready for a relationship. With someone my age, lol. Who is looking for the same things I am. I'm not necessarily looking for that today. But soon. And i'm excited. I miss the way my life was when I had a serious boyfriend. It was nice. I needed a break from that while I did the student life/greek life/partying thing while in school. but i miss that now. I'm glad I took time off to have fun though. I think I would have regretted it if I never went through a college partying stage. So everything has worked out for the very very best, and I'm excited about the thought of falling in love again in the future :)
Umm yeah. basically I'm gonna be taking a little vacation soon. not sure where I'm gonna go or what I'm gonna do yet. I might just get in my car and drive to the other side of the state or something and spend a couple days in a random hotel. lol idk yet. we shall see. but i wanna get away for a bit for sure.
I actually am okay. This blog sounds a little depressing. But I'm not sad. I'm not overly happy. But I'm very content. I'm glad that things are turning out the way they did. I'm out of student life, I'm moving, I'm working a lot more. Seeing a therapist, working out, cutting wayyy down on the drinking and fast food. everything feels good now. It really does :)
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