I figure since I'm pretty much done with school I need to change my life drastically. Some of you already know, I went through one transformation already about 3.5 years ago. I used to live with a serious boyfriend. I cooked family dinner almost every Friday night. I didn't go out, I didn't drink, I didn't have a lot of friends. I worked 40 hours a week for the Genesee Intermediate School District. I had a decent amount of money, two cars, a house, two cats and a dog. Lol. It was very grown up, and got pretty lonely. So I joined a sorority at school and my life did a complete 180. I had just moved out of my boyfriends house, and soon after we broke up. I became super involved on campus, made tonsss of friends, dated, started going out and having fun. I became a leader, I lost a lot of my shyness.
It was great in a lot of ways. But there were downsides to my new life. My grades dropped significantly. I was so busy and i've never been a good student. When I was less busy it was easier for me to coast though school and get good grades. But as my classes got harder and I got busier, that became more and more difficult. Also, my financial situation got wayyy bad. This wasn't anyones fault. My long time job laid me off because business was so bad. More downsides. I gained a tonnn of weight. Drinking often and eating free pizza at school events all the time doesn't do much for the figure, that's for damn sure! And one of the worst things was, I haven't been able to have a sucessful relationship in this new life. Which in hindsight is good cuz I learned a lot. But now I'm ready to take the best part of both of those lives and merge them into a super awesome NEW new life for myself :)
I want to be smart, sucessful, driven, stable and healthier. And i have very specific, realistic, attainable goals to achieve those things.
One of the biggest things getting in my way is this pesky ADHD that I officially have been diagnosed with now. I always knew I had all those negative traits, but didn't realize that when you put them all together, they have a label attached to them. And that it's something I can get treated for. So hopefully now that I know what it is and I'm learning how to deal with it, it will make my life much better. I'm going to be more organized and focused. Anyone who's ever seen the inside of my purse, car, room, backpack or school folders, knows that I'm terribly unorganized. So I'm going to put extra effort into organization tools. file folders, little baskets to keep certain things in, a planner that I actually use, etc.
Also, I like to think I'm a nice person. But I'm also super impulsive. Which is fine if I spontaneously want to take a trip to ann arbor. But is not so cool if I'm blurting out not so nice things to people I care about. It's super hard for me to control. Buuut this is yet another trait of ADHD. So hopefully medication will help slow me down, so my mind isn't working so fast, therefore I won't talk so fast. And hopefully it'll help me think before I talk. And just knowing that I have this problem already helps slow me down.
Another ADHD related sucky thing. Apparently it makes me more susceptible to addictions. yayy...not. Don't need that! Everyone knows I like to go out and drink and have a good time. And that was cool while i was a college student. But now it's time to cut wayyy back. So I'm only going to go out and drink once a week. Now obviously if there's a wedding or if it's my birthday or if it's the world expo of beer or something, I may drink a bit more. but as for random "let's get hammered on a tuesday days" I'm done with it. I may have a beer with dinner at a restaurant, but i won't be getting drunk. I like having fun, but I don't need any addictions! So that's cut way down. Twice last week I went out and just had one beer and it was fine. And i went out Thursday and drank a bit more for my one day out. So, so far so good on that! :)
Another addiction of mine that you wouldn't necessarily think is a problem. My phone! lol I am super addicted to texting and facebooking. Some of my friends know that i've been contemplating getting rid of my iPhone cuz it's such a distraction. Well I decided to not get rid of it, because it can be useful too. And has a lot of good apps on it that can actually help me stay organized. But however, I am going to drastically change the way I use my phone. So if any of my friends read any of this blog, make sure you read this next part! Lol
I will no longer have my phone on me at all times! It will either be off, or not on me at all. When I was president of the sorority, I upgraded to a smart phone because i wanted to make sure I never missed an email or a text in case something important happened. But now, there are very very few texts, emails or calls that I get that are urgent. If any at all, lol. I could check my phone twice a day and have barely missed anything. All that happens now is I anxiously check my phone allll throughout the day. I check emails and texts within minutes of getting them. I am always up to date on everyones fb statuses. You know what I don't do anymore? Talk to people on the phone. I will actually ignore a call, then text them back. WTF?! How did our society get so impersonal?? I don't like it anymore. If I send someone a text and they don't answer within seconds, I think they're ignoring me. I'm realizing more and more that this is becoming normal. I take my phone with me everywhere! And I'm always on it. I'll be out with people and we're all texting on on Facebook.
So I am DONE with that! You all can still text me. And I will respond...eventually. And there will be times when I'll be on my phone more than others. For instance, I'm at work now and there's no kids. So I'm playing on my phone. But i will be drastically cutting down on my phone usage. So if anyone wants to talk to me, call me! :) and we can talk on the phone and hear each others voice and laugh and chat like the good old days. Or better yet, I can go out for coffee with people and chat with them there! How much more fun would that be than having a seven hour long text conversation? I forgot that life used to be more personal. lol so please, call me if you need me! :) obviously, some situations just warrant a text. lol or I'll be somewhere where I need to text. I'm not saying don't text me ever, lol. Cuz I'm still gonna use it! But I might go several hours in a day now without seeing my phone. So if you text or call, it may take awhile for you to get a response. I left my phone off for most of the day yesterday and it was amazing! At first, it made me really anxious wondering if I was missing anything. Then within an hour or so, I didn't even care. I just had fun with the people I was with. Crazy, huh? Lol :)
And the last thing i wanna change involves getting rid of all this nervous anxious energy I always have. lol I'm obviously going to start working out a lot more. And in the morning. I miss being a morning person. With the exception of days after a third shift work night, I always want to be awake between 8-9am. Always. And I wanna go work out at that time. Also, I'm gonna pick up a few more hobbies. I just applied for financial aid to take piano lessons at the flint institute of music. And if I don't get it, I'll just pay for the lessons, lol. I'm also going to start attending meditation classes at this zen buddhist temple in ann arbor. that'll be good for me cuz I could use some ways to relax. I am normally a very happy person. but I don't deal with stress and tough times very well. And I think that'll really help me learn how to calm myself down so I can still have a good day even if things are going bad. Plus, I've been very interested in Buddhism for quite a few years now, and after reading about it for a long time, I figure nows a good time to get out there and actually learn more about it.
Sooo yeah. That sounds like a lot. But it is really quite managable. I'm excited about working out, piano lessons, meditation, counseling, not being obsessed with my phone, and being the sober one at the bar again! lol
So we'll see how it all goes! Wish me luck :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
No comments:
Post a Comment